I'm not sure what path I am on at this point. I have a directive from my spiritual director, if you will, to talk with a priest from church about my call to a vocation. At times I am very excited about this thought. I think it would relieve quite a bit of pressure off of me. Just voicing what I'm thinking and going through, to someone at church, would be a great comfort.
On the other hand, I am worried about what it all means. Putting myself forward will change how people view me within the church. That part is obvious I know but it weighs on me probably more than it should. I am concerned about having to live up to a certain standard. It may sound silly but I know how people are, especially after hearing stories of how people will complain about the quality of doughnuts on Sunday mornings, the service times, how one priest may occasionally stumble over a word here and there during the service. So how will people react to and look at someone whom they know to be in the discernment process?
I thought I had moved beyond being concerned how others look at me, but maybe I haven't.
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